Red Hot Mess

That's how I've been feeling lately, like a Red Hot Mess.

Everything is completely overwhelming me lately.

Maybe it's the season.  The change in time....getting darker earlier.....I don't know but I know how I am feeling and I really, truly do not like it.

So pardon me...but I need to get this out.

1)  The house.  The basement is finished and I'm so happy about that However, there is still a mess everywhere.  The living room has a large area rug rolled up that needs to go into the old office upstairs....but that room is a disaster that needs to be cleaned up.

2)  Laundry.  I can NEVER get my hands around the laundry.  And no one else does it in the house.  Sure Hubby might put one load in but that's it.  Never brings it upstairs, never puts it away.

3)  Always a a MAJOR struggle for me.   I dislike cooking immensely....my kids won't eat 1/2 of what I would make.

4) The girls.  G won't wear 1/2 of the stuff we bought together.  I can't even imagine the money that I've spent on clothes for her that she won't even wear.  I can't force her to wear them but what do I do?  I can't keep wasting this kind of money.  And A won't wear jeans.....what is the staple of this child's closet?  Jeans.  So I ask her what she does want to wear....she doesn't know.

5)  A and her going to bed issues....drive me ABSOLUTELY nuts.

6)The Holidays.  You may or may not be aware that my brother and I (and hubby and brother) are not getting along AT ALL.  After my brother sent some very hurtful words and then continued to make unnecessary statements, hubby will have nothing more to do with my brother and his wife.  This includes holidays. Thanksgiving is next week....my mom is hosting.  The entire family will be there.  My hubby won't go.  Where does this leave me?  Honestly, I don't even want to go.  I really don't.  My cousins do not (to my knowledge) know what is going on between my brother and me and I don't want to explain hubby's absence.  But that puts my mom in the middle.  She's already heart broken about the situation and doesn't understand why is can't all just work itself out.  I don't think she understands how much my brother insulted me, hubby, and my girls.  He obviously has no respect for my family at all.    For Christmas I have suggested that we drive down to SC to see hubby's parents.

7)  My weight.  Now granted, I have done NOTHING about my weight lately...other than lament over it.  I haven't worked out at home, and I did buy a video, I just can't find the energy to do it after working all day.  I can't get up in the morning to walk.......I really hate seeing the size of my pants go up. I'm distraught over  the fact that pants I bought in May are already too tight.  I know that by look.....I don't look overweight or fat.  And for all intensive purposes, I'm not.  I'm just heavy for me.  I haven't weighed this much since right after A was born, 5 years ago.  I need to exercise and get into shape.  I'll be 41 in three weeks and it's just going to get harder and harder to take it off and keep it off.

8)  Deep down inside, I really want another baby.