Sunday, May 30, 2010

Stealing a line from Carly Simon

I'm so Vain.  Yup, I admit it.  I'm vain.  I like looking nice....I can't go out of the house with no makeup on or my hair not washed and dried.  I've tried rolling out of bed, putting on a baseball cap and taking the girls to school....but I can't.  People ask me if I'm not feeling well.  I just can't do it.

I like looking nice.  I like when people compliment me on how nice I look.  I used to like getting dressed up for work.....skirts/dresses and high heels and see the reaction of the men I worked with.

Does that make me bad?  Is being vain bad?

It's not like I spend alot of time at all of this.  I get up, shower, shave, put my makeup on, do my hair.  I'm done in an hour or less.

Last summer I finally got comfortable wearing a two pieceon the beach and ya know what?  I didn't look all that  bad in it.  This summer I bought a new one but truth be told...I'm not sure I'm going to wear it.  Since I've been laid off I feel I've gained some fattage around the middle section that I'm not comfortable with and definately not comfortable showing off at the beach.

However, I can't seem to find the time or the motivation to exercise.  And I like my M&M's too much.  What's a girl to do?

There is no way that I will go on the beach feeling about my body, the way I do now.  Not going to happen.  I'm reading a magazine now and wishing I looked like the models in it. 

Last weekend when  stressing about going to a friends pool for the husband said that I look very good for a woman pushing 40 (AACK) whose had two kids in the past 5 years.  Thanks honey, I love you for that but I'm still not comfortable with this gut sticking out.  Go ahead, call me me vain.

Now, in my own defense...I'm not one of those who won't go outside because she has a huge pimple on her chin (tho I will be mortified).  In fact, my chin it dotted with little bumps I can't seem to make go away.  But you will never catch me out without foundation (or powder), blush, eye shadow, liner and mascara.  I don't care about lipstick and most times my nails aren't done but..............

So, I'm so vain and yes, I think this song is about me.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Kristen's Lemonade Stand

Sale! Sale! Sale!  Lemonade $0.25 a cup!!!! 

Isn't that what you are supposed to do when you have too many lemons?  Make lemonade?

Seems that life is handing me and my family too many lemons lately so I'm having a lemonade sale.

So, ya know I lost my job in November.  No biggie right?  I was collecting unemployment.

In February I decided to get my real estate license to try to make some money.  Wow, who knew you had to spend so much money to make money?

In April I called unemployment to inquire how much money was left in my account and to see if I was eligible for Pres. Obama's extension.   I found out I was!  Great...and then I go an open my mouth..."By the way, do you reimburse for real estate school?"  Um, you have a real estate license?  Are you affiliated with a broker?  Um, what do I do?  I tell the truth.  Well, you might not be eligible for unemployment benefits anymore.  So...a statement was taken and lo and behold...they cut my unemployment..and tell me I have to repay more that $2000.  WTF????  I'm not making any money at all.  I was planning on reporting any commission I did make.  So, I am appealing.

In the meantime, I have taken the girls out of daycare two days a week to help cut costs.  Sometimes I truly think I;m the worst stay at home mom.  I yell, alot.  And that makes me sad.  But, oh my god...the whining.  I can't take the constant whining!

On top of this...we take my car in for an oil change and to check the transmission.  Lately it seems to be slipping and the car will go from 40mph to 20 mph and the RPM's will run up to 4000.  So....after Honda has my car for 8 hours...and I call to check on it....I get "oh yeah, and you need a new transmission".  WTF?  UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH.

The dealership checked with corporate (or something) and because this is a problem with this model and because we have taken good care of the car, corporate is going to pay for  more than 1/2 of the new transmission.

But that still leaves us in a bind.  It seems no matter what we decide, we need to fix the car.  But do we keep it after it's fixed?  Do we trade it in?  Will we even get approved for a new car?  Or a certified pre-owned car? 

In the middle of all of this I did an IUI.  Yup, i know what you are going to say, I'm nuts.  And maybe we are.  But John and I both believe we want another child and while he still has health insurance to cover it...we were going to give it a try.  Well, it didn't work.  And now I"m not so sure moving on to IVF is a good idea.

John could loose his job this week....we'll be ok....he'll get 6 months of severance and he essentially has a job waiting for him with another company.    Or he might have a different job with the same company. 

I don't want to go back to work.  i really don't.  We are considering taking the girls out daycare full time.  And honestly, that scares the crap out of me!  it really does.  I'm not sure I can handle it.  But somethings gotta give.

So, who wants some of my lemonade?