Monday, December 6, 2010

Maybe I am the problem.

I struggle with many different aspects of myself.

I suffer from anxiety.
I am a control freak.
I have a very difficult asking for help.
I expect a lot from the people around me (but then again, I also feel like I  give a lot).

I've already discussed how seeing a not made bed can send me into a tizzy.
Crumbs on the floor?  WATCH OUT

Right now, I'm starting to wonder if I am the underlying cause of all of my current struggles.

For example, I am having a very difficult time with G.  She's 6 and pushes every.single.button I have.  I just don't know what to do anymore.   I expect that when I ask her to do something I shouldn't have to ask her more than twice.  I expect that, when making a ginger bread house, she won't stick her tongue out and try to lick the icing off of the roof.  I expect that she won't have a problem with the clothes that she puts on.  I mean seriously?  Seams?  Come on. I expect her to get her coat on when asked, go to the bathroom when asked, clean up when asked.

Maybe I am expecting too much.  And then, the bigger do I know if I am asking too much?  Is the fact that she's NOT doing what I ask an indication that I am asking too much?

I really don't think I'm asking a lot.  It isn't too much to ask for the playroom to be cleaned up is it?
It isn't too much to ask her to brush her teeth is it?

Are my expectations too high?

I mean she's 6...I should be able to expect certain things.

Punishment doesn't seem to work at all.

Maybe I should just take the tv away completely and just use it as a reward.

I don't know... Ireally just don't know anymore.

But I can't do it anymore.  I can't face the struggle anymore.

I can't.  It's destroying me.

Or maybe, since it's my behavior, I'm destroying myself..

I don't know.  it just can't go on like this any longer.  No one is happy....and I don't want unhappy little girls. 


  1. Ugh, welcome to our world... 3, 4, 5 times! Then, of course, the sudden "I gotta go potty", when just 15 minutes ago he was fine.

    At 6, clothes was hard. His head is so garshed darned big, that it's tough to get into sweaters. (gets that from his dad) at 8, he's much better at getting dressed. Slow, but good. Heaven forbid that there is a tag that is scratchy. LOL

    TV is hard, I just try to limit it as much as I can.

    Coat? "M. Wear you coat"
    "I don't want one"
    "It's cold, wear a coat"
    "I don't want to"
    "Fiiiiine. "
    *sigh* I suppose it's the same, eh?

  2. Remember that phrase, "pick your battles"?

    Pick give up. Let's take an easy, cleaning up the playroom. (I HEARD YOU CRINGE WHEN I WROTE THAT!)

    Start tonight with "G,A, after dinner, I'll clean up the playroom. I might need help." Announce it when you are ready to do so, then just start cleaning up. In the end, you do most of the pick up anyway, so instead of stressing that they don't, ask them to help you. You will be surprised as kids will help when asked, but they freak when you give them a big task. Start small with "G, could you please help by putting this toy away?" Just one instruction at a time. one toy at a time.

    I wouldn't say that you are the problem, but maybe you are fighting too many battles at once.

    I've started with "Does it matter now? Does it matter in 10 years? How about 30?" And only if the last one matters do I deal... It's hard.