PMS sucks

big time

nouf said

Nope

nouf said.

Hoping

Ben,  this is NOT a post you should read

Today is cycle day 24....usually by now I have started to spot.  I haven't.

This past weekend my boobs hurt so bad that if G or A leaned on them, I was in tears.

Should I be so bold as to hope?

Today I'm moody.  Very moody.

I would love to hold out hope that maybe, just maybe....my body did something right this time....but it's getting harder and harder and harder.

I've only ever gotten pregnant once without medical help.  That didn't go too well.

Maybe, just maybe...

But probably not.

Stuff

We have entirely too much stuff.  And every once in a while is stresses the CRAP out of me.  We do purge probably every 6 months, things that are in the basement....the last time being in April when the basement was being jackhammered to death.

But there is still a lot of stuff to purge...and I have that urge, the URGE to PURGE.  There are tubs of baby toys....there are tons of baby items.  My girls have too many toys to even know what to do with.  And with their birthdays and Christmas coming, they will be getting even more.  And that scares the crap out of me.

I'm part of the problem.  I have a hard time letting go. 

What if we have another baby?  Then we'll need the highchair, and the bobby pillow, and that seat thingy and this and that.  We'll need toys and the pack n' plays (yes, we have two)...I have numerous strollers.....a crib that has been recalled (tho I think I can get a part to "Fix" it".

I need to teach myself AND my girls that more isn't always better.  That there are people, children out in the world who have woefully less, if not, nothing, compared to them.

Letting go is just so hard for me.

If we are ever going to finish that basement...the crap needs to go...and the sooner, the better.

Photos

This weekend hubby and the girls and I went to Bushkill Falls in the Poconos.  It was a LONG two hour drive each way but it was a beautiful fall day

I wanted to share some pictures.

I spent some time last night editing the pictures using Picasa but apparently it didn't save the edited images back to my hard drive.  Oh well.  These aren't that bad.

Between hubby and I we took over 400 pictures.

Wasted Opportunities

I was laid off from work in November of  2009.  I went back to work on August 30, 2010.  That's what?  About 9 months.  And looking back, I feel as tho I wasted the time I had off.

At first I was sick...then it was take time to get ready for the holidays.
In February I got my real estate license.

Still.....I read only 6 or 7 books and two of those I read twice (the Twilight series).
I made one pair of curtains.
I did take alot of pictures but feel that I should have taken more.

Why didn't I sew more?  Or read more?  What is my excuse?  I have no idea...but now that I'm back to work, I wish I had done more with that time I had off because now that I don't have the time, I am wishing that I did.

I didn't sew because I'm afraid to cut the material on my own and I couldn't get my mom to help me.

I didn't read more...well, I don't know.

I had quiet time for 8 hours a day for a long stretch of time before I took the girls out of daycare two and then three days a week.

I could have painted the bedroom like I wanted.

Don't get me wrong...I did do some things.....

I painted the rocking chairs on the front porch.

I painted the lamp post.

I filled in the nail holes in the molding.

But guess what? 

The bedroom has still not been painted.

The molding isn't even painted and still needs caulk to fill in some gaps.

There is a stack of books waiting to be read.

There are pillows looking for new covers.

I wish I could get some of that time back and do those things I didn't do.

Monday Morning Moody Mumblings

It's Monday.

I'm moody (and no, I'm not PMSing)

And I'm going to mumble.

I can't find two rubbermaid containers that have my fall/winter clothes and pajama's in them.

I went shopping yesterday with a purse full of coupons and bought myself NOTHING!

It's cold and rainy.

My daughter told me yesterday that she hated me and today told me I was mean to her.  :(

My hair...............nouf said.

I'm bored at work.

Wonders...if an important decision is so hard to make....is it the right decision?

I can't have the door in my hallway to the attic.  :(

I really want to finish the basement

I really want to paint the bedroom.

I miss my cleaning lady.

I might need to start looking for a new job and I just started this one.

I have baby on the brain.

I'm scared to talk to my hubby about my brother again...his reaction the last time was so EXTREME.

I'm tired.

I want to go home and clean and organize and find my clothes.

I miss my Smokey bear

I feel like crying

I'm in a mood, and it's Monday.