Thursday, February 24, 2011

On the Fence

I am still on the fence about the whole "do we want to try for a third baby" thing.  I know, I know...most of you are saying, just make up your mind!!!!  But for me it's not that easy.  Heck, I was nearly in tears trying to decide if Ava should go to school today.

Making the decision to have another baby is HUGE!  There are so many things to consider. 
  • G would be 7, A would be I want that big of a gap?  would that make things easier or harder? 
  • I would be 41
  • I would need to do IVF again...therefore, running the risk of multiples
  • My stress/control issues I currently suffer......I will never be the chilaxed mom I want to be
  • The stress on my marriage, can we survive?
  • Am I ready for sleepless nights?
  • Finances, nouf' said

But every time I see a baby, or a picture of a baby....ugh, it tugs at my heart strings.  I have LOVED watching G and A grow up.  Yes, it's been challenging at times and there will be more challenges in the future but....I love them to pieces.

And the girls ask me every day, can we have a baby?  I know they don't really understand what they are saying and I'd never base the decision solely on what a 6 and 4 year old ask for but last night I said to G, Ava is going to be your bestest only sister and G said "But I'd really like another little sister mommy".  UGH UGH UGH.

I wish someone would make this decision easier for me.


  1. I thought you had decided not to? You're right that it's a hard decision and it's obviously something you've been struggling with for awhile. I don't necessarily think that getting that "baby rush" is enough of a reason to have another one, though. I am finally totally completely at peace with our decision to stop and I really never get that feeling any more. I still love to snuggle my friends' babies, but I'm now more than happy to hand them back over and go home to sleep 8 hours straight. :)

  2. Kristy, I thought I had decided not but my decision has been haunting me.

    And you are right...the baby rush is not enough of a reason to have another one.

    J and I have said for a while now that we'd really like to have another one but it wasn't the right time. And now, unfortunately, my time is running out.