Wednesday, February 9, 2011

This and That

I am addicted to sewing and crafting.  Funny thing is....this year, I've only made on quilt but I've purchased patterns and material off of Ebay and I'm dying to buy more.  This weekend I'm going out to look at a new sewing machine.

I'm home alone with the girls tonight and actually sort of looking forward to it.

I had a dream about my brother last night where I kneed him in the @ss to get his head out of it.  I think I actually tried to do it in my sleep in bed as well and then I realized G was sleeping next to me.

I made heart shaped felt pillows (small) for the girls last night.  I have to make for John.

I want to take a picture of the girls and me tonight and frame it for John for Valentine's Day.

There will be no more babies in our house.  I honestly don't think our marriage will survive.....and that saddens me.  John and I talked a bit this weekend and he thinks I'm miserable, I think he's miserable and while i don't want to blame the kids, life has gotten more challenging since having them.  it's sad.  the girls are the light of my life

G told me yesterday that she hates herself (made me cry) b/c she's bad and doesn't make good choices.  Yes, she is a challenge...she's stubborn and defiant....but she is a very very very good little girl.  I worry now that I make her feel like a bad girl.  But what am I supposed to do?  NOT punish/discipline her for poor behavior?  Let her get away with it?  Wouldn't that make me a worse mother?

The last two points are making me cry. 

John and I are going to see my therapist next week together.  I think maybe he and I need to see a marriage counselor on a regular basis.

I don't want to be at work right now.  I'm bored out of my mind and now I'm sad.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you guys are going to go to counseling. Make it a priority and no matter how hard it gets (cause it's hard to talk about all those issues EVERY week) make a commitment to KEEP GOING.

    You're a good mom, Kristen. We all fail in one area or another but we've just gotta try to learn from our mistakes and keep going. And as long as you praise as well as discipline, then your girls will get the balance. I tend to have to discipline Mason much more than the other 2 so I also make more of an effort to point out when he IS being kind/obedient/loving or gets an especially good report from school.