Monday, September 13, 2010

Why is this so hard?

I have baby on my brain again.  EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

I's like an illness.  I held a 4 month old this weekend and ugh....I just want another one so badly.

And then things happen and I wonder if it's really a good idea.

Like...Friday night...we had movie night with the girls.  And we let them stay up was almost 9pm before they went to bed.  And they were tired.  And they whined.  And John got angry.  And G and A disintergrated into tears.  I think this goes back to managing expectations.  What should I expect from G and A at 9pm after a long day of kindergarten with no rest and A with no nap at daycare.  Maybe we need to pick shorter movies.  Personally, I don't think I should expect much from G & A at that time....but we did and it didn't end well.

Something happened last night too.....can't quiet remember....but every time me or hubby looses our temper with the makes me think that adding another baby to the mix isn't a good idea. 

And that makes me sad.  Very very sad. 

I want the decision made....either way...and i want it made now.  I'm tired of thinking about it.  If it's no...then it's no and we get rid of all the baby stuff in the basement and I move on.

If it's yes, then in two weeks I go back to IVF NJ and start the proceedure to do IVF. 

Why is it so hard?


  1. Expectations are hard. We expect the girls to clean their rooms. Yeah HA HA HA HA HA! We have started bribing with a star on the calendar = 5 cents. They can put a star up for practicing their instrument and for cleaning. In a few months, when the room is done, we will ask the cleaners to NOT clean their rooms. The girls will start having to be responsible for that.

    Tired kids whine. That's all. And we fall into the same trap. In fact, our trap is that Dr. Jay often gets angry because he feels he is doing something nice for the girls and that they don't appreciate it. Um, yes, but then again, at 6 & 8, they are still self-centered. Our 6 year old is very self-centered while our 8 year old started breaking out of that 2 years ago.

    Hang in there. I guess you'll never know about a third child until you have one.

  2. you are so right Nancy. DH whines when he's tired and cranky....sometimes worse than the girls. And the girls whine when they are tired. And they are self are so right.

    As for the third child.....right right right.

    how did you get to be so smart? :)